Ma'am or Sir

Dear Person Who-Voted-For-Regular-Type Oreos,

Why?  Truly, why?  There is no cream in them.  And that is what makes an Oreo an Oreo.  The cream.

Love,

Rachel

Lil' Dutchess

Dear Sunshine Blossom Snoogy-Buns,

I can pretend that 549 diapers isn't a lot.  Sure, I can feed you before I feed myself.  I can wake up with you five times a night when you have the sniffles.  We can spend that time bouncing and singing and fighting to keep your binky in your mouth because you believe it is your-only-friend-in-the-whole-big-world.

Don't worry, Boo, I like the color pink, too.

Formula is expensive, but you know what?  So is the Olive Garden and I've been there before.  We can keep the heater on, even though Mama prefers the cold, and we'll make sure we always have something fuzzy for you to wear.

After all, what are friends for?

Love,

Mama Bean

Britney Spears' Waist vs Hershey's Peppermint : IT IS WAR

9:05:  Did aerobics for an hour.  Celebrated with pizza and Hershey's Peppermint Kisses.

10:42:  Got a haircut that makes me look like a boy.  Or Marissa Tomei, minus the sweet face.

11:02:  Saw a magazine with Britney Spears on the cover.  Wondered why I did not have that body.  Thought of how good a plate of nachos and cheese would taste.

A BIG plate.

11:36:  Came home from errands to my two-month-old daughter, Amber.  When she saw me, she cooed and smiled at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Like I belonged on the cover of a magazine.

Next time I wonder how I look, I am going to ask her instead.

12:07:  Made a big plate of nachos.

New Years Goals

1.  Get Brad Pitt to fancy me;

2.  Reject Brad Pitt, he isn't worth it.

3.  Lose 107 pounds so-I-can-fit-into-those-jeans,

4.  Post video on Youtube of daughter sneezing;

5.  Get 7,818,009 Youtube hits of said sneeze;

6.  Exercise 3-4 hours seven days a week.

7.  Switch from DoubleStuf Oreos to regular, they're healthier.